MST3K: TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST Review

     C'mon , live a little! Very little. I really can't justify trying to tell you to view TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST on it's own. The fact that MST3K riffs on it is what makes it worth watching. I like that it is a man in a rubber suit , I can watch a man in a rubber monster suit anytime but not even that can save this movie or the fact that it has a couple of good pieces of eerie music in some spots. TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST is lifeless and dull but the fun that Mike and the bots make of it is pretty good and the skits they do in between are fun and much more entertaining than the movie itself.
    Okay , if ya did not know this Mike and the bots , Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot are forced to watch movies by a evil scientist name Pearl and her henchmen Brain Guy and a ape man called Professor Bobo. In one skit during MOONBEAST they hook a universal remote up to Bobos brain and control his body movements. That was funny! Even at the beginning of the show it starts out with Crow and Tom getting a onion blossomer and blossoming everything they can get their hands on including Mikes wallet ,a plunger , and Toms head! Thinking about it , MST3K was one of the best shows on tv in the 90's.
    TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST on the other hand is bad. In no way is it one of the worst movies ever made , not by a longshot , but it's not sleazy , or gory , or so bad it's good , it's just there. It's a episode of MST3K that I put on and listen to while I am reading comix and relax to because I love their voices so much. At first it was mostly Tom Servos voice but I'm really warming up to Crows , and Mike is good at doing voices too. But with MOONBEAST the best part is the scene where a bar band is playing a song called 'California Lady' and the song isn't that bad but it's 70's folk rock and 70's folk rock has not aged well. So Mike and the bots go off on the song and even do a skit about it with Mike doing voice over about the band kinda like a VH1 behind the music parody , and it's pretty darn funny! A real highlight of this episode! Okay , the acting is pretty wretched and that is fun and the costume of the MOONBEAST stinks to high heaven , rather silly looking , and if you are a psycho B-movie maniac into self abuse , like me , you just might have to watch TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST to satisfy that itch but at the beginning of this episode the evil Pearl tells Mike this:" This is your movie , TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST , it stars nobody and features nothing , I hope you gag on it." I don't want you to gag on it but that is a apt description but it is still one of my favorite episodes of MST3K. -arty