Are You Ready For The ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE movie review?

    " Take that nasty from hell!" " Back to the grave you undead sack of shite" " I'll gouge out your eyes and piss on your brain!" These new zombie movies really need some good dialogue like this if they are gonna be so bad. Sure , that last line is from TRADING PLACES but it's a good line and needs to be kept alive.
    I've seen ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE twice now.......yes , twice , on the syfy channel and it was a bit better the second time around.

    WHAT I LIKED ABOUT IT: Lots of zombie bashing , chopping , shooting , arrowing , general zombie killin' mayhem. The acting was decent. Not bad like some reviews I read described it as and it had Ving Rhames in it and Ving is usually always cool. They tried to create their own mythos by ripping off the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake and THE WALKING DEAD. Lesley Ann Brandt. She's hot. Not as smokin' hot as she is in SPARTACUS but still......great ass!     WHAT I DID NOT LIKE: Not creepy , spooky , scary at all , they did not try to create any kind of atmosphere. Barely any night scenes. All the cgi efx. Some of it was passable but it was all cgi and that sucked. Lesley Ann Brandt. She was on SPARTACUS , couldn't she have learned how to use a sword while she was on set? Her sword strikes were really bad sometimes and detracted from the action but made it fun at the same time.    Overall , I think THE ASYLUM tried to make a quick and cheap knockoff of THE WALKING DEAD and that's what they accomplished. I knew what I was getting into and got what I expected. all the corners they cut hurt the movie but made it cheezy fun at the same time. Like when Lesley Ann is shooting a 50 cal machine gun mounted on a shopping car and there is no recoil. That was horrible but so bad it was , well , terrible. and the cgi zombie tigers! And even though the zombie make up was bad and sometimes just rubber masks I thought some of them looked cool. I really wish THE ASYLUM and the SYFY channel would put a lot more effort into their product. There are good film makers out there just waiting for their chance to make a good horror movie but we've gotten so used to "good" bad movies that even "bad" bad movies have become acceptable. But my curiosity was peaked and I had to watch it. So you probably have to too. But I swear i will stay away from ZOMBIE DIARIES 2 , I'm not that much into self abuse! -arty