BLOOD FREAK FROM SOMETHING WEIRD!

    Hold tight....we promised we would not harm you. I've seen BLOOD FREAK about 4 times now and I'm finally getting it , but I did not know what I was getting into in the beginning. I've read a bunch of reviews on BLOOD FREAK that hold it in high regard as a prime piece of bad cinema , but I wasn't seeing it. But the last time I viewed it I paid attention and noticed stuff I had not noticed before. Like the 2 lab guys who just might possibly be the worst actors ever recorded to celluloid. The director who has scenes in the movie as a narrator  and you can see him look downward to read his lines off a piece of paper. Or the one nudie shot of the leading girls ass. Pale ass. I never noticed this stuff before , I guess I zoned out every time I saw it before because I thought it was so boring. I love these movies , I never look down on them , but some of my favorite horror movies are EVIL DEAD II , DAY OF THE DEAD , and THE FOG , and compared to those BLOOD FREAK is a steaming hunk of garbage , and it was bewildering that so many people liked this movie. Preposterous! BUT HOLD ON.

look at this?

    If you know nothing about BLOOD FREAK , it's like this. A Vietnam vet named Hershell meets a girl named Angel and goes with her to a party. He hooks up with Angels sis , Ann , and smokes weed and immediately gets addicted. He takes a job with Anns dad at his turkey factory where the 2 lab dudes get him to eat some experimental turkey meat and soon he turns into a turkey headed blood freak and attacks and kills drug dealers and drug addicts and drinks their blood for nourishment. Sounds simple don't it? And at least BLOOD FREAK does have a simple premise to follow and that is always good for a low budget horror flick. But in pretty much every aspect of film making BLOOD FREAK is a complete trainwreck. Acting , editing , sound , special efx are all a bust. Okay , I don't dislike the music too much , it isn't atrocious I'll give it that , compared to the rest of the movie I think it is the most competent aspect of the film. And check out that turkey monster head!? That isn't really paper mache is it? Did they even look at a real turkey head to get any ideas? There is a scene where Hershell is petting some turkeys so they must of! Look at this evil turkey pic I downloaded. They could have done something like this , almost anything kind of scary or cool looking , I know it's a turkey but c'mon , try a little harder.
    And BLOOD FREAK is a anti drug pro christian movie!? I'll leave that one alone. But why did the director think it would be cool to interrupt the movie and give his spiel about life , love , and Hershells attraction to the opposite sex , and cough his lungs out at the end of the movie? Ya know , fuck it , I don't really care. There is a decent amount of blood letting and one scene of gore which does help the movie and they show a poor little turkey get his little turkey head lobbed off and the movie is only 80 minutes long. I did like the scenes of the turkey monster wandering around the Floridian scenery.
    As for the DVD itself SOMETHING WEIRD did a excellent job on it. The film looks good , the best it's ever looked I'm guessing , the menus are cool , you hear turkeys gobbling , and instead of play it says begin feast , I think , and that's fun , and SOMETHING WEIRD packs in tons of extras , too many to list here which shows me that the folks at SOMETHING WEIRD have as much fun putting these movies together as us fans have watching them. Maybe more! I checked the SOMETHING WEIRD website and I didn't see it in their catalogue so I think it is out of print but amazon has it for about $20.00 and I've seen it for up to $100.00! I ordered the FREAK SHOW Box Set for around $30.00 which is a good deal since you get three other movies.

     Finally , you got to ask yourself , "Who the hell made that BLOOD FREAK turkey monster toy?" and is the BLOOD FREAK DVD worth purchasing? Is it worth shelling out that much cash? For me it was. I had to see it for myself and nothing was going to dissuade me from getting it , and I am glad I have a copy of it ; it's one of those movies that hardcore horror/gore/exploitation/bad movie geeks have to obtain and see as a rite of passage and a badge of fandom. Like , "Look at the crap I watch!"
    And too end this , the Lizard from Spider - Man would rip turkey headed monster to shreds! Please leave a comment and tell me about your love for BLOOD FREAK! -arty