Wednesday, October 31, 2012

RISE OF THE ZOMBIES review

    Eyes! Lungs! Pancreas! So many snax so little time! Had extremely low expectations for RISE OF THE ZOMBIES (R.O.T.Z for short) but it starts out with a chimp in the first scene! No one told me 'bout the chimp! And Levar Burton is in this! Reading Rainbow! And Danny Trejo shooting undead fux in the face! Sign me up for the long haul! So far so good.
   SPOILER!:Danny gets taken out by the 30 minute mark. Wish I had known that beforehand going into R.O.T.Z. There is alot of gore and lots of zombie destruction in R.O.T.Z. This is from the director of ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE , Nick Lyon , and  while he is no Lodge Kerrigan or Douglas Buck , he has improved his directing chops in between these two zombie potboilers and R.O.T.Z. is alot better than ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. But I'm pretty forgiving. But it does have alot of gore and some of the zombies really look nasty and check it out for the part on the bridge! Pretty disgust filled!    My complaint with R.O.T.Z is the same one I have with ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE and that's that there is no foggy night time scenes , no creepy creepshow skeleton zombies , no actual rising of zombies from graves , no spooky late show music , nothing like that. Have new film makers completely forgotten about mood , atmosphere , and the good ol' "tell me a scary story" ethic? Would love to see a zombie movie like that!  Until then we have R.O.T.Z. Which wasn't that bad. If I could get a special unrated directors cut edition I'd get it. -arty

PSYCHOSOMATIC At The KOROVA 10/30/2012

    The liver , good choice , I'll have that first. But first , last nights show. It was great , so good my neck hurts and I didn't even do any headbanging. I didn't know anything about PSYCHOSOMATIC , I wanted to see CANNIBAL BITCH and AGGRAVATOR But I sampled some of their music on their facebook page and they were pretty fucking good so I figured I'd stay for the whole gig.
     I got there in time to see CANNIBAL BITCH! CANNIBAL BITCH is a local San Antonio band. The guitarist/vocalist/cannibal keyboardist is Adrian , and if you go to HOGWILD RECORDS here in San Antonio then you might know Adrian and Adrian is a cool fucking dude! He is a HUGE horror fan! And when he plays he sometimes wears a button up white shirt , a red bow tie , a spiked gauntlet and he wears these make up appliances on his head , and I gotta say they look pretty real. I assumed he does them himself and they look good! All the horror influence comes through in his band. They started with Adrian playing a small keyboard , playing some Italian horror movie style synth intro before stabbing into CANNIBAL BITCHES amalgam of every thing Metal. CANNIBAL BITCH is not Death , Doom , Thrash , Punk , or Grind but they mix everything up and come up with something fairly original. They are fast and heavy and I like Adrians cleanly shouted vocals. It off sets the heaviness but separate them from most other bands and is really refreshing! Before I forget the drummer is great , I met him but can't remember his name but he bashed out every kind of beat and was fun to watch play. I just hope CANNIBAL BITCH records soon so I can listen to them all the time!
AGGRAVATOR
    I've seen AGGRAVATOR several times now and they get heavier and faster each time. I've talked to guitarist/vocalist Derek briefly before and he's a cool dude and a HUGE fan too and AGGRAVTOR is spearheading the San Antonio thrash movement. I would not be suprised to hear that a label like METAL BLADE , RELAPSE , or HEAVY ARTILLERY picked them up for a record deal , they deserve it and represent the power and might of the San Antonio Metal scene. AGGRAVATOR played a fast strong set as usual and as many times as I have seen them they never seem like they are going through the motions or they do not want to be there and if you have not witnessed them yet check 'em out while they are still opening up for other bands so you can say you saw them before they blew up.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Are You Ready For The ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE movie review?

    " Take that nasty from hell!" " Back to the grave you undead sack of shite" " I'll gouge out your eyes and piss on your brain!" These new zombie movies really need some good dialogue like this if they are gonna be so bad. Sure , that last line is from TRADING PLACES but it's a good line and needs to be kept alive.
    I've seen ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE twice now.......yes , twice , on the syfy channel and it was a bit better the second time around.



    WHAT I LIKED ABOUT IT: Lots of zombie bashing , chopping , shooting , arrowing , general zombie killin' mayhem. The acting was decent. Not bad like some reviews I read described it as and it had Ving Rhames in it and Ving is usually always cool. They tried to create their own mythos by ripping off the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake and THE WALKING DEAD. Lesley Ann Brandt. She's hot. Not as smokin' hot as she is in SPARTACUS but still......great ass!     WHAT I DID NOT LIKE: Not creepy , spooky , scary at all , they did not try to create any kind of atmosphere. Barely any night scenes. All the cgi efx. Some of it was passable but it was all cgi and that sucked. Lesley Ann Brandt. She was on SPARTACUS , couldn't she have learned how to use a sword while she was on set? Her sword strikes were really bad sometimes and detracted from the action but made it fun at the same time.    Overall , I think THE ASYLUM tried to make a quick and cheap knockoff of THE WALKING DEAD and that's what they accomplished. I knew what I was getting into and got what I expected. all the corners they cut hurt the movie but made it cheezy fun at the same time. Like when Lesley Ann is shooting a 50 cal machine gun mounted on a shopping car and there is no recoil. That was horrible but so bad it was , well , terrible. and the cgi zombie tigers! And even though the zombie make up was bad and sometimes just rubber masks I thought some of them looked cool. I really wish THE ASYLUM and the SYFY channel would put a lot more effort into their product. There are good film makers out there just waiting for their chance to make a good horror movie but we've gotten so used to "good" bad movies that even "bad" bad movies have become acceptable. But my curiosity was peaked and I had to watch it. So you probably have to too. But I swear i will stay away from ZOMBIE DIARIES 2 , I'm not that much into self abuse! -arty

ZOMBIES: Remember When.

    Do you remember the video box for the movie DEAD PIT? How the eyes lit up if you pressed the button on the side of the box. Did you play with it at Blockbuster? I did! That was so cool. Do you remember when DAY OF THE DEAD came out? I don't , but I do remember seeing it on tv and it scared the shit out of me! I did like it but it did scare the bejeezus out of me. And I also remember that there weren't many zombie movies between 1985 and 1990. The ones I remember are NIGHT OF THE CREEPS , DEAD PIT , NIGHT LIFE , BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR and the re - make of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and that came out in 1990. I recall a movie called ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE on tv but that had only 1 zombie. Can you remember anything worthy of mention. VIDEO DEAD? I never saw that one but my friend had the movie poster and it was pretty fucking cool.
Today there are oodles and oodles of zombie movies. And most of them suck. There are a few good ones but it's just oversaturation of a genre. We got a zombie tv show now , and it's a good one but does it bother anyone how they never say zombie in it. They don't say it in the comic either. It's just a little thing but it bothers me for some reason. And then there is the zombie comedy. I refuse to type down the word they made up for zombie comedies but SHAUN OF THE DEAD was good and I like AAAH!ZOMBIES!.
    And the Italianos? They made some great zombie movies in the early half of the 80's but then their undead output dried up to what , KILLING BIRDS? BLACK DEMONS. AFTER DEATH came out in 1989! I like that one! I read that DEMONS was supposed to be a zombie movie but that they were tired of zombies and went with demons. I love DEMONS that one scared the chocolate sauce out of me as well.

Friday, October 26, 2012

GIANT SPIDER INVASION review

    I've set shit filled landmines and steel beartraps dipped in mercury and unholy water in strategic position around my hose. No film makers and their giant fuzzy fake spiders are getting near my front door! I clicked on this episode on a whim and it has jumped onto my to 10 , but it didn't do it right away , and I'm watching it right now and it's even better than the last time I saw it! It's the MST3K riffing that makes this movie , Mike and the bots dust it off , prop it up , shine a light on it and shout , "Check out how much fun we make of this crappy movie!" And they sure do! But maybe you like GIANT SPIDER INVASION , perhaps you saw it when you were a kid and it stuck with you and you still like it , but really it sux , and the insults Mike and the bots lay down on this sucky movie come hard and fast and they rip on all the characters , the lame and flimsy storyline , Wisconsin , and the Giant Spiders themselves!
The Giant Spider is ridiculous but at least it's a real prop , it's there with the people and it's chasing them down mainstreet.
    Plus this episode has one of the longer skits of Mike and the bots being taken over by zucchini pod throw pillows sent to them by the evil Pearl and her hench person Brainguy. It's a much more interesting and exciting story then the one in Giant Spider Invasion. And in the beginning you get to see Tom Servo dressed up like a cheerleader!
    Without the MST3K rifftrack GIANT SPIDER INVASION is watchable if you like all these movies but I found a Special 2 disc Directors cut Edition on amazon for $90.00!?!? I guess a special edition would be cool for a goof if it was $10.00 , but $90.00? No way man! It is also on the MST3K  collection volume 10.2 but that is $35.00 and then there's the Retromedia Entertainment version that has extra features and a 4 page comic but that one is $30.00. as you can plainly see your only sensible avenue would be to watch it on youtube , MST3K style. That is if you are sensible. If anyone does buy the $90.00 special edition I salute you sir or madame. Starring Alan Hale Jr. aka skipper from Giligans Island. -arty

Thursday, October 25, 2012

DEMENTIA 13 quick review

    DO NOT WATCH ALONE! Directed by Francis Ford Copolla back in 1963 for $20,000 , D-13 is a good film considering everything it had going against it. Which actually probably helped it. It's in black and white , set in a castle/manor , has a cool rockabilly song in the beginning , and there is a axe murderer! It's a public domain movie so you can usually find it in one of those horror packs , and if your like me you probably have it all ready. The one I got it in is a 3 disc set containing 15 movies. In fact you should seek out the one I have , generically titled HORROR: Do Not Watch Alone. It has this movie , NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD , CARNIVAL OF SOULS , BLOODY PIT OF HORROR , and NIGHTMARE CASTLE , among others. -arty                                     

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

...It's Mystery Science Theater 3000! POD PEOPLE


    Yes. Perhaps we could kiss your still beating heart before devouring it. Have you seen this shit , this POD PEOPLE shit? How did we come to this level of cheezy B-movie insanity that we wantonly seek out and watch a movie like POD PEOPLE. And enjoy it. My search for POD PEOPLE started because of the Cinema Snobs review of it. I remember him stating that it was a fairly decent movie marred by behind the scenes bullshit and that it started as a horror movie but someone thought it would make more $$ as a E.T. ripoff. Anyway , I looked for the dvd on amazon and they do have it under the alternate title EXTRATERRESTRIAL VISITORS , which I thought was a little pricey and they had the MST3K version but I just wanted POD PEOPLE. Looked for it on youtube and youtube only has the MST3K version. So I watched it. It's one of the earlier episodes with Joel , and the voices of the bots sound a little different to me but it is a good episode , one of the fan favorites and they do alot of funny skits making fun of POD PEOPLE. And the movie itself is fucking weird. It starts out with scenes from a completely different movie called GALAXY INVADER , which is also on youtube and I've seen it , hell , I even got one of those 50 sci-Fi packs just so I could have it in my collection! It has shoddy stop motion , more fog than the movie THE FOG , (Tom Servo coins that line) and the alien called Trumpy. Some people hate the dogshit out of POD PEOPLE , some people like it and I like it. It's one of those movies where it's mostly boring and nothing happens but it's hypnotizing and soothing to watch and I want to see it without the MST3K commentary. Guess I'll have to actually buy it. There's alot more behind the scenes stuff to this movie. I read it was made before E.T. I hear it was made after , I do know it's from the director of PIECES. The MST3Ka version is the way to go if you see it , I'm assuming you love MST3K and have probably all ready seen it but if you haven't it's alot of fun , it's in my top 10 favorite episodes and I almost can't imagine it without the riff track but I still want a copy , I gotta have one. Maybe you too. -arty

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

KRAVENS LAST HUNT:Fearful Symmetry , one of the best horror stories that will never be made into a movie!

    Life is meaningless! Chaos! This universe has no center! It's 
creator is a drooling idiot! But Kraven The Hunter had a plan. Since I reviewed movies like BLOOD FREAK , THE BLOOD WATERS OF DOCTOR Z , TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST , and SHE FREAK , and with Halloween being so close , I started thinking about KRAVENS LAST HUNT:Fearful Symmetry.  I love these movies , they are fun , funny , gory , crazy , good time cinema ,  and I don't look down on them , but KRAVENS LAST HUNT is a story that has something these movies , and alot of other horror movies , don't have and that is that KRAVENS LAST HUNT is really creepy , spooky , scary , and explores death in a way these movies don't. Lots of people die in these other movies but  KRAVENS LAST HUNT , (KLH , for short) points out that we are all going to die someday and that's fucking scary!
    Spidey is my favorite comic book character , and KLH is one of my all time favorite comic book stories. KLH is the darkest Spidey tale ever written but it does not have to resort to nasty language , graphic violence and sex to be effective. And I love all that shit but this story is a hard hitting , breathless , sweaty , read it in the middle of the night excursion into tightrope terror , without all that , and is a testament to the writing talents of J.M. DeMatteis and the artistic talents of Mike Zeck.
    KRAVENS LAST HUNT is about the final battle between Spider-Man and Kraven , and a nocturnal rat man that is stalking the rain swept streets of N.Y. and eating beautiful females. That's the gist. So if you don't all ready read comix , well then you probably won't ever start reading them , but if you do like all the movies I been reviewing and you like all this shit then I suggest you get this.The rat man , Vermin , is everything the best movie monsters are supposed to be. He's scary and vicious but also tragic and you do feel sorry for him , at least I did by the end of the story , and Kraven is also monstrous but has honor and a code he lives by , he has depth and is a great villain and a great character! His arc through this story is great and makes him one of the top villains EVER in all of comic books.
    And this story is pretty much the perfect marriage of story and art. Mike Zeck is a great artist and his art is suited for more muscular , high octane , grittier stories and works great for KLH. At it's heart KLH is a horror story , it really is much darker , gloomy , and gothic than %85 of the horror movies I 've seen in the last 15 yrs ,and since it's a comic it's like this secret only I know about and have re-visited many times and it gets a little better each time.
    I suggest you buy it for your personal collection but you can get it at the library and when you read it I hope it's by candle light in the middle of the night during a thunder storm! I won't even get into the thoughts I have on KLH if they made it into a movie! -arty

Sunday, October 21, 2012

JASON LIVES!

What the hell is this?
   
    Of course we'll have to kill a few dozen girl scouts first! I hate to bake without fresh ingredients! Jeeze , so much to say and so many memories about this movie. They been showing all the FRIDAY movies on AMC and when they got to this one I realized that it is one of my favorites. I like it more than part 1. I remember seeing JASON LIVES at my aunts house when it came out on cable. At night , in the back room by myself. It was a bit scary but also fun. It was different than the previous Jason movies , it looked different and I was a bit older so it didn't scare me like the others did , especially part 1 when Jason leaps out of the water! That scared the shit out of me when I was a kid!
    So Tommy Jarvis survived through part 4 and 5 and in 6 accidently  ressurrects Jason Vorhees , Frankensteins Monster style , and Jason rises to kill again. First one being Horshach from Welcome Back Kotter! And Tommy Jarvis was played by Thom Matthews , who played Freddy in RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD!
     And this is when I started noticing girls and I think the gal that plays Megan is one of the hottest chicks to come out in a FRIDAY movie , 'cept maybe for that one girl in JASON X that gets her face frozen and smashed to bits! She was hot , but up to part 9 I think Megan was the prettiest girl in the series. And who remembers Paula? She was so nice and sweet and cute and she has a horrible demise! Maybe the worst death of the series? Maybe?
    JASON LIVES isn't the goriest , it is violent and has some good fun inventive kills , there's gotta be one or two kills that you remember with a smile , but it is the funniest of the JASON movies , but funny without making fun of Jason , or looking down on the genre. And the ALICE COOPER songs! "Man Behind The Mask" is great and they put "Teenage Frankenstein" to such good use when they kill Cort and that chick , and Jason looks so cool standing on the overturned RV! I really like Kane Hodder as Jason , but the guy that played him in JASON LIVES , C.J. Graham , played a good Jason Vorhees. I thought he was intimidating and gave Jason just a tinge of humor , icy mercilessness , and something that made you root for Jason in this one , at least for me he did. If he would have kept playing Jason that would have been okay , I like him better than the guy who played him in FREDDY VERSUS JASON and the FRIDAY reboot.

   Horror fans have their fave FRIDAY movies and the ones they don't like , but I like 'em all and I like JASON TAKES MANHATTAN , too! I'd like you to leave a comment about your favorite FRIDAY film and what you think of Part 6 and 8 , or any of them really. AMC is going to start up with the HALLOWEEN movies tomorrow , Oct 22 , so if you want , comment about those. -arty

Friday, October 19, 2012

MALEVOLENT CREATION - In Cold Blood cd review

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BLOOD FREAK FROM SOMETHING WEIRD!

    Hold tight....we promised we would not harm you. I've seen BLOOD FREAK about 4 times now and I'm finally getting it , but I did not know what I was getting into in the beginning. I've read a bunch of reviews on BLOOD FREAK that hold it in high regard as a prime piece of bad cinema , but I wasn't seeing it. But the last time I viewed it I paid attention and noticed stuff I had not noticed before. Like the 2 lab guys who just might possibly be the worst actors ever recorded to celluloid. The director who has scenes in the movie as a narrator  and you can see him look downward to read his lines off a piece of paper. Or the one nudie shot of the leading girls ass. Pale ass. I never noticed this stuff before , I guess I zoned out every time I saw it before because I thought it was so boring. I love these movies , I never look down on them , but some of my favorite horror movies are EVIL DEAD II , DAY OF THE DEAD , and THE FOG , and compared to those BLOOD FREAK is a steaming hunk of garbage , and it was bewildering that so many people liked this movie. Preposterous! BUT HOLD ON.
look at this?
    If you know nothing about BLOOD FREAK , it's like this. A Vietnam vet named Hershell meets a girl named Angel and goes with her to a party. He hooks up with Angels sis , Ann , and smokes weed and immediately gets addicted. He takes a job with Anns dad at his turkey factory where the 2 lab dudes get him to eat some experimental turkey meat and soon he turns into a turkey headed blood freak and attacks and kills drug dealers and drug addicts and drinks their blood for nourishment. Sounds simple don't it? And at least BLOOD FREAK does have a simple premise to follow and that is always good for a low budget horror flick. But in pretty much every aspect of film making BLOOD FREAK is a complete trainwreck. Acting , editing , sound , special efx are all a bust. Okay , I don't dislike the music too much , it isn't atrocious I'll give it that , compared to the rest of the movie I think it is the most competent aspect of the film. And check out that turkey monster head!? That isn't really paper mache is it? Did they even look at a real turkey head to get any ideas? There is a scene where Hershell is petting some turkeys so they must of! Look at this evil turkey pic I downloaded. They could have done something like this , almost anything kind of scary or cool looking , I know it's a turkey but c'mon , try a little harder.
    And BLOOD FREAK is a anti drug pro christian movie!? I'll leave that one alone. But why did the director think it would be cool to interrupt the movie and give his spiel about life , love , and Hershells attraction to the opposite sex , and cough his lungs out at the end of the movie? Ya know , fuck it , I don't really care. There is a decent amount of blood letting and one scene of gore which does help the movie and they show a poor little turkey get his little turkey head lobbed off and the movie is only 80 minutes long. I did like the scenes of the turkey monster wandering around the Floridian scenery.
    As for the DVD itself SOMETHING WEIRD did a excellent job on it. The film looks good , the best it's ever looked I'm guessing , the menus are cool , you hear turkeys gobbling , and instead of play it says begin feast , I think , and that's fun , and SOMETHING WEIRD packs in tons of extras , too many to list here which shows me that the folks at SOMETHING WEIRD have as much fun putting these movies together as us fans have watching them. Maybe more! I checked the SOMETHING WEIRD website and I didn't see it in their catalogue so I think it is out of print but amazon has it for about $20.00 and I've seen it for up to $100.00! I ordered the FREAK SHOW Box Set for around $30.00 which is a good deal since you get three other movies.
     Finally , you got to ask yourself , "Who the hell made that BLOOD FREAK turkey monster toy?" and is the BLOOD FREAK DVD worth purchasing? Is it worth shelling out that much cash? For me it was. I had to see it for myself and nothing was going to dissuade me from getting it , and I am glad I have a copy of it ; it's one of those movies that hardcore horror/gore/exploitation/bad movie geeks have to obtain and see as a rite of passage and a badge of fandom. Like , "Look at the crap I watch!"
    And too end this , the Lizard from Spider - Man would rip turkey headed monster to shreds! Please leave a comment and tell me about your love for BLOOD FREAK! -arty

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

EVIL DEAD , EVIL REMAKE!

    We'll suck the marrow from your bones and eat your brains! Eating brains is RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD territory not EVIL DEAD , but who knows what the Deadites will be spouting off about in the remake. Hopefully no Facebook of the dead reference! I still haven't seen the re-make trailer or know anything about it but I am not going to dismiss it outright. EVIL DEAD is such a fan sacred movie how could they dare to star rolling production on a re-make? How many times have I curled up on my bed and watched my vhs tape of this movie? What does Sam Raimi have to  say about this? Is EVIL DEAD a big enough deal to warrant starting a franchise anew? Won't it bomb like ARMY OF DARKNESS did? Does anyone care? Well , I don't really care....but I do!
    I don't get excited about too many big screen theater movies anymore but a EVIL DEAD remake is something to raise a eyebrow too. I've decided with this blog that I will go see it , I will pay for my ticket and soft drink and large popcorn. Maybe even a weiner!
    Maybe it will be good , maybe it won't I can only judge it on it's own merits. we will always have the original it is not going to dissapear just because they re-make it. How many undead zombie movies have been made that were inspired by EVIL DEAD or ripped it off? Ever seen EVIL CLUTCH or EVIL ED or however many other movies you can name. So if anyone knows anything encouraging about the re-make or something that will crush any hope that it might be at least okay please leave a comment. and I did a BLOOD FREAK review and will do more MST3K reviews on a daily basis. -arty

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

MST3K: TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST Review


     C'mon , live a little! Very little. I really can't justify trying to tell you to view TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST on it's own. The fact that MST3K riffs on it is what makes it worth watching. I like that it is a man in a rubber suit , I can watch a man in a rubber monster suit anytime but not even that can save this movie or the fact that it has a couple of good pieces of eerie music in some spots. TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST is lifeless and dull but the fun that Mike and the bots make of it is pretty good and the skits they do in between are fun and much more entertaining than the movie itself.
    Okay , if ya did not know this Mike and the bots , Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot are forced to watch movies by a evil scientist name Pearl and her henchmen Brain Guy and a ape man called Professor Bobo. In one skit during MOONBEAST they hook a universal remote up to Bobos brain and control his body movements. That was funny! Even at the beginning of the show it starts out with Crow and Tom getting a onion blossomer and blossoming everything they can get their hands on including Mikes wallet ,a plunger , and Toms head! Thinking about it , MST3K was one of the best shows on tv in the 90's.
    TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST on the other hand is bad. In no way is it one of the worst movies ever made , not by a longshot , but it's not sleazy , or gory , or so bad it's good , it's just there. It's a episode of MST3K that I put on and listen to while I am reading comix and relax to because I love their voices so much. At first it was mostly Tom Servos voice but I'm really warming up to Crows , and Mike is good at doing voices too. But with MOONBEAST the best part is the scene where a bar band is playing a song called 'California Lady' and the song isn't that bad but it's 70's folk rock and 70's folk rock has not aged well. So Mike and the bots go off on the song and even do a skit about it with Mike doing voice over about the band kinda like a VH1 behind the music parody , and it's pretty darn funny! A real highlight of this episode! Okay , the acting is pretty wretched and that is fun and the costume of the MOONBEAST stinks to high heaven , rather silly looking , and if you are a psycho B-movie maniac into self abuse , like me , you just might have to watch TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST to satisfy that itch but at the beginning of this episode the evil Pearl tells Mike this:" This is your movie , TRACK OF THE MOONBEAST , it stars nobody and features nothing , I hope you gag on it." I don't want you to gag on it but that is a apt description but it is still one of my favorite episodes of MST3K. -arty




Monday, October 15, 2012

SHE FREAK dvd Review

        You truly are a abomination....SHE FREAK is a remake/ripoff of the 1932 cult classic FREAKS and could be cast aside with little else said about it but after viewing it recently for the 2nd time I enjoyed it more than the first time I saw it and it was made in 1967  written and produced by David f. Friedman but directed by Byron Mabe and set in a carnival and is about a girl named Jade who is looking for a easier way to make money than workin' a dead end job. Jade is a backstabbin' wench but at first I can kind of see where she is coming from but there is no doubt that she is the bad guy and will become the She Freak by the end of the movie..
    The dvd itself is nice , the cover is cool , makes you think the movie is gonna be a hoot , a real b level gem , it has lots and LOTS of xtras including commentary and the picture quality is  , well , great! I wish all these old movies looked as good as SHE FREAK does. The movie itself is a bit uneven and lackluster. It takes place in a carnival with a bunch of freaks , weirdos , bums , drunks , and such but the movie is not all that sleazy or violent. And you don't see the She Freak 'till the very , very end of the movie but with seeing it again I gotta say that I think the makeup works really well. I've read some reviews that bash the make up job but I think it's pretty cool and the first time I saw her I thought she was supposed to be a half reptile creature but that is not the case. She gets mutilated offscreen and that is why she looks all fucked up but she is not a monster hybrid creature or anything  like that. It would of been cool to see her stalking the carnival grounds after dark or screwing the dog faced boy or killin' a little kid but no. Nothin' like that.....and there is no dog faced boy , but come to think of it there is a really hairy guy near the end so maybe he was supposed to be the dog faced guy.
    THE SLEAZE FACTOR. Like I mentioned , not that high. There is one fight scene where a guy gets stabbed through the hand with a screwdriver , which is another effect they did a decent job on , but other than that not much to brag about. I wish SHE FREAK woulda been directed by John Waters , I think he could have done a good job of making SHE FREAK nasty , gross , and violent but I think John waters was like 15 yrs old in 1967 , maybe older I'm not sure , someone check that and leave a comment on it.
    I'm glad I saw SHE FREAK again , some movies get better with multiple viewings , some don't ; SHE FREAK is one that got better. The dvd is from a company called SOMETHING WEIRD and if you are not familiar with SOMETHING WEIRD the folks behind it genuinely seem to love these bad old movies and take great care in their restoration and presentation. I got SHE FREAK in a box set called THE FREAK SHOW box set along with FRANKENSTEINS CASTLE OF FREAKS , BLOOD FREAK , and BASKET CASE. This box set cost me a little less than $30.00 and I'm glad I got it. The box itself is cool too , very sturdy. Even if you don't buy the box SHE FREAK is less than $10.00 on amazon or check out the something weird website. Finally thanx to anyone that read this review and please leave a comment. -arty
www.somethingweird.com/