SPEEDOZER: Rockin' The Fuk Out In San antonio!!!!!!!!

Kevin On BASS!

    SPEEDOZER was a new band to me and I saw that they were coming to town with BugGiRL and that SPEEDOZER is from Belgium so I felt like this was going to be a really good show. And it was and SPEEDOZER kicked FUCKIN' ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I was really lucky to catch them live and I talked to these three Belgian Rock N' Roll maniacs and I found out that not only was this their first visit to San Antonio but their first visit to the States!! And they were here , in San Antonio , to play a dive bar hole in the wall! I gave them some zines and the drummer/screamer Nico gave me a zine called HIGH HEEL SLUTS!! And this zine is great and a bit similar to my own zine!
    Then SPEEDOZER started playing. About 10 seconds into their set I looked back at my friend , Belen ,  and I could see that she was thinking what I was thinking. These SPEEDOZER guys are FUCKING AMAZING! 

Nico , thanx for the zine!

     These guys were born to make fast as fuck punk fuckin' RAWK AND ROLL!!! They crashed , bashed , rolled , and sped through their set like kill crazy sex starved , gasoline stealing road warriors without mercy or remorse , songs blurred and overlapped and the singer/guitarist Bart , rolled around on the floor and wailed away on his guitar like he was covered in fire ants or OD'ing on some exotic designer drug! But I think he was only high on the Rock and Roll emanating from his axe! They were badass and fed off each other and us and created a fun time vibe that pulled me in and made me an instant fan. And then they were done! What's fucked up is that me and my  friends were the only people there to see them , my friends Belen and Regina. The only people there to see some bands that flew across the world to play Rock And Roll here in San Antonio. The regular patrons of the bar didn't even care , the were a bunch of old dead asses anyway and most of them left when the bands went on and it got loud. But SPEEDOZER didn't care they played in front of the three of us like we were 3,000 mad dog fans and again , it was AWESOME!!

Madman Bart!

     The only other show that was this much fun for me was the first time I saw TOXIC HOLOCAUST and MIDNIGHT not too long back at the Korova but this was a fun show and I don't know what could top it. I do wish more of my friends had went and I hope SPEEDOZER comes back someday and that they play at THE MIX! That would be such a better venue for them here in San Antonio!
    So thanx to SPEEDOZER ; Nico , Kevin , Bart thanx for coming to town and playing such skull crunching Rock N' Roll cos' we loved every second of  it!!! And thanx to my good buddies , Belen & regina , who are some gorgeous galz by the way , for accompanying my ugly ass to the show and thank you Belen for driving ; we had so much fun that night! SPEEDOZER!!!!!!!!!!! *arty

THURSDAY NITE THRASH ZONE: At The Korova March 21st , 2013

 I am the NEW head of Virgin Records AND Thalia is my beautiful trophy wife. Believe it , accept it , let me have my fantasy! So as the media mogul that I am I will be attending this Thursdays show to scout new talent. And we have alot of talent in San Antonio , alot of good bands , young bands that are hungry & thirsty ; that want to play Metal!~ TERRORIST , KULPRETT KOMMAND , INFERNAL DEATH & RIGHTEOUS KILL are playing ; all Texas bands and I think , most , if not all the openers are local San Antonio bands.
    And I m really digging the Thalia as my wife fantasy!

BugGiRL - Dirt In The Skirt cd kicks it!

    The BugGiRL/SPEEDOZER show is tomorrow and I wanted to remind you about it and how badass both bands are. DIRT IN THE SKIRT is the album I downloaded. It's 10 tracks of down N' dirty , adrenaline boiling , good time Rock N' Roll. The sound is great , loud and clear and has a bite like a pissed off and VERY horny wildcat!! They fuckin' played a big ass party for that asshole Lemmy at his request and they are gonna be here tomorrow! Songtitles from DIRT IN THE SKIRT are: " Spread That Eagle" , "Hungry As Hell" , "Fat N Greasy" , and of course "Dirt In The Skirt". So you can yell out these songtitles at them even if you never hear 'em before.

    the have another album , Blood , Sweat , & Beers , and I hope they have it at the show along with shirts but remember Dirt In The Skirt kicks ass ; and really , it's a no brainer if you like underground Rock N Roll that's hard , fast , with a little punk influence  ; no puddle of mud , everclear , theory of a deadman bullshit corporate cock rock here. BugGiRL are straight up and hard and their music burns while it goes down the hatch but makes you feel good once it gets inside you. I actually think Nickelback is okay ,by the way. -arty

BugGiRL in San Antonio!?!% Gotta See 'em!$#

 Screaming out to all rockers , rollers , and headbangin' maniax everywhere but 'specially here in San Antonio cos' BugGirl is ridin' into town next week , wednesday March 20 and rippin' it up at a bar by the name of Boozehounds out on Perrin Beitel. So I am definitely cramming as many people as I can into my vehicle and cruisin' on over to check BugGirl out and buy as much merch as I can afford! Oh yeah , and another fierce trio of rockerz are comin' with them with the handle of SPEEDOZER! And both these bands have come a long ways to play Austin AND San Antonio and I think the least I can do as a music fan is spread the word and go see them.   But BugGirl dish out hardcore Rock N Roll , fast and furious like ZEKE , SPEEDEALER , and MOTORHEAD and the singer/guitarist has a great soaring , infectious voice that makes me feel right and good about listening to underground Rock N Roll! So I just wanna give all my facebook friends that live in San Antonio a heads up about this show so you at least know about it and decide if you wanna go. If you do go you can only have a good time , it's almost guaranteed! I downloaded their album 'Dirt In The Skirt' and will try and review it and post a blog about it as soon as I can but here is some more info about the band and the venue! -Arty

FDR:American Badass!!!! monumental movie review!

    If I was going to do a top 10 movie list for the month of Febuary......and I might just do that now , FDR:American Badass would take up the whole list. I kept seeing this on my daily BLOCKBUSTER visit and kept dismissing it as garbage but then I saw the trailer for it and my interest was definately peaked so I grabbed it the next day. AND I THOUROUGHLY ENJOYED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I liked it so much that I am directly addressing these facebook friends and imploring you guys: Ray Santan , Fulgento Bava , DVD Ghoul , Kenneth Gallant , Bradley Bowles , Sartana Django , Derek Rivers , Mark Freudstein Jordan , Ken Storey , Fred Mckennon , Mark Wilson , Kyonsi Al , Mitchell A. Jones: YOU GUYS NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!! Clear your calender , put it on your to do list , if ya got the netflix Q it up , or purchase it because it is worth a buy because it is that entertaining!!!!!!!
    Because it's about FDR fighting Werewolves during WW2! Barry Bostwick plays FDR and he is so funny and great in this and it has so many other good actors in here! 

yes , that is a squirrel in a mans ass!

 And if you know these names then also know that you will enjoy this movie! It's got Bruce McGill , Ray Wise as Douglas McArthur , Paul Ben Victor as Mussolini werewolf , even Kevin Sorbo as a pot smoking Abe Lincoln!!!! And even though FDR:American Badass is a outlandish slapstick comedy , almost completely nutso bizarro , the actors seem to take everything seriously and do their best to make their dialogue work and give good performances and it works. I watched it with two of my best friends and we laughed and had a great time viewing FDR: American Badass and if you give it a chance you too will be belly aching from all the laughing.

IRON SKY dvd review

I kept passing this up on my daily visits to Blockbuster but I red some good reviews so I grabbed it and , yes , it was good! For the way the dvd cover looks , the wacky premise and the fact that it looks like a Asylum or Syfy movie IRON SKY is really good and one of the better movies I have gotten from Blockbuster.
    There are Nazis on the moon! They went there at the end of WW2 to regroup , strengthen their forces and come back and take us over. Sounds pretty stupid but IRON SKY has alot going for it.
1) The cgi is really good , it looks better than 96% of the direct to dvd cgi I have seen and almost as good as most theatrical releases if not better.
2) All the Nazis actually speak German and it adds so much weight and reality to a movie that is not at all grounded in reality.
3) It's funny.....really , it is!
4) Julia Dietze is awkwardly attractive and super sweet as Renate Richter! And look at the pic of her in the bikini!

ALL SUPER HEROES MUST DIE! dvd review

                                                
    Pounding out aggression turns into obssession! Hell yeah , I been listening to Metallica Master Of Puppets having a good time and I had a good time w/ A.S.M.D cos' I saw it with my good buddy Luciano who is also a HUGE comic book freak! And it was a good viewing experience becasue of that and I had read some bad reviews for A.S.M.D but since I am such a comic book fan I enjoyed it. A.S.M.D obviously had a low budget during filming and it does hinder the movie a little since they could not have alot of special efx but they did what they could and the movie is nowhere near as bad as some of the reviews I read made it out to be.
    Story is a badguy , James Remar , captures 4 superheroes and strips them of their superpowers and places them in a small town where they must face some deadly challenges to save innocent civilians and themselves and eventually face off with the villain.

 And I thought it was a good concept and alot better than some of the newer comics I've read. And even though A.S.M.D is not a real comic book I thought it was a good take on costumed adventurers and I liked it waaaay better then Alter Egos. I think the director Jason Trost actually likes comic books and cared about the heroes and tried to make a good movie with what he had and for the most part succeeded.  He had James Remar who is always good and a cool actor and had Lucas Till who played Havok in the X-Men:First Class movie.
    As me and Luciano watched it we both were really concerned with what their costumes looked like and they were decent and I was surprised at how violent it got. It's no PUNISHER: Warzone or even KICK-ASS but it had it's moments of bloodshed that hit hard enough to take it seriously.

Some Favorite Actors Who Look Awesome! 10 Of 'Em!

good ol Abe Vigoda. FISH!

James Coburn is explosive!

Eli Wallach , The Ugly.

I know you know Jack!

    If you are as big a movie fan as I am and you are around my age you know these guys and like their unique and beautiful faces , love their movies , and get a kick outta seein' them!   What actors today are as cool as these guys?!     

who don't love Peter?

I bet your a big Lee Marvin fan?

I didn't put these guys in order or top 10 , all these guys rule just choose your faves and make your own list!

Franco Nero IS Django!

         

Ernie Borgnine! Love that face!

                

    Okay , saving the best for last!

The great George C. Scott!!!

Review of Alter Egos: Sort Of.

    ' All Superheroes Must Die' is a dvd I picked up at walmart cos' my good buddy Luciano recommended it. And because I am a crazy comic book nerd , more insane than a trekkie , or a Star Wars geek , or anime fan ; now those people are real assholes , or any other freak you can think of. I am very knowledgeable about comic books even though I don't really buy the new ones but I do have a couple of dumptrucks worth of comics and I get a ton more from the library and now we've had alot of comicbook movies come out. It's weird being 37 yrs old and seeing all these comic book movies coming out. Movies that I would have went apeshit over when I was 12 or 13 and the fact that they finally made a Wolverine movie does not excite as much as re-reading his first 4 issue limited series from the 80's. But I am still interested in these movies so I grabbed this "ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE' and then I went to Blockbuster and they had this movie called "ALTER EGOS'. Hmm. So I rented it. and it kind of sucked but it was kind of cool only because I love comix so much. Kevin Smith had a hand in this release but "ALTER EGOS' pissed me off a tiny bit because the Superheroes kind of sucked. Sure they did have powers and their costumes were not completely lame but the two in the movie , Refridgerator and C-Thru were kind of jerks and they were not tough or very heroic , resourceful , or cool. Guys like Snake Pliskin  or 'Mad' Max Rockatansky would have eaten these guys's lunch! "ALTER EGOS' was more a comedy and I knew that but at least make the heroes badass. They were shitty heroes , the one , C-Thru had a utility belt but never used anything out of it and the Fridge guy was a little weasle type guy. And when I think about it ; and I am speculating here ,I think that the director is not a comic book fan and has no respect for comic books and I think he saw THE DARK KNIGHT , THE WATCHMEN  , and KICK-ASS and thought that a comic book movie wouldbe a good/easy genre to make a movie in and push his own agenda. I could be wrong. Probably not though. But it got me to rent this movie .  I saw "ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE' and I have also seen 'SUPER' and "DEFENDOR" and I will review 'ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE" soon. But only see ALTER EGOS if you a super comic book fan like me and dislike it. -Arty

War Of The Dead dvd review

    Man , there is a shitload of zombie movies coming out and there are about 4 , maybe 5 , Nazi zombie movies out now. Seems like DEAD SNOW was the first most recent one and started the trend and I thought WAR OF THE DEAD was pretty good. On the cover it says , "Like an episode of Band Of Brothers with zombies." , and on the back of the dvd box it reads , "Mixes slices of The Dirty Dozen with Day Of The Dead." Well , which DAY OF THE DEAD? The Romero one or the re-make? But it's like they're just cross naming movies to make WAR OF THE DEAD sound like it's some fantastic war/zombie movie. Here , I got one , " It's Saving Private Ryan meets Night Of The Living Dead. The original Night Of The Living Dead!" So it made me think WAR OF THE DEAD was gonna suck really bad but I thought it was pretty exciting. The movie looks good too ,it looks like it could have come out in theaters and WAR OF THE DEAD fall more on the side of action than horror and the makers of this film did it pretty good. The zombies are fast movers and they do eat human flesh but it's not gory , not really ,  but that did not bother me ; I got into the movie and it was a fun ride.  But it doesn't try to be cheezy , funny ; it's not a B-movie , it tries to be a serious movie and I think it succeeds for the most part and I would watch it again and I might buy it if I could find it for $8.00 or less. And it has a cool dvd cover that the movie lives up to. _arty

Top 10 favorite newish actors

    Here are some of my top 10 favorite actors! In no particular order!

David O'Hara The Departed , Fitzy
Tom Hardy , Bane from DKR
Jeremy Renner
Josh Brolin
Javier Bardem
Christian Bale
Leo Dicaprio
Guy Pierce
Karl Urban , JUDGE DREDD , best movie of 2012!!
And the dancin' machine Sam Rockwell!!

   What are some of yours? 
 

OSOMBIE DVD Review

     Osama Bin Ladin is a zombie! I saw this movie on the shelf at Ballbuster and had to get it. But with so many zombie flix pouring onto  the horror scene like black blood from the eyesockets , mouth , and nostrils of a undead evil priest , I guess it was inevitable they would make a movie like this. Troma really missed the bus on this one didn't they?   But it's  not the grade B schlockfest I thought it could have been but for what it is it's still decent. They kill a fuckload of zombies and even though pretty much all of the zombie headhits , bodyhits , and full zombie explosions are done with cgi they didn't bother me that much cos' they looked pretty good for the most part. But you only see Bin Ladin in the very beginning and the very end and at the end he looks pretty freaky , scary , gross , and I could tell they used a animatronic puppet for his final scene. 
    So on one hand OSOMBIE is a competent action/zombie flick , and it does have some good humorous moments but it doesn't go for the throat with the Osama as a zombie thing or make fun of terrorists like you think it would. But if you like these movies you kind of have to see it just to say you saw it and confirm your own thoughts on it. I wish it woulda been like EVIL DEAD 2 , ZOMBIE 3 , or as offensive as STREET TRASH! What do you want out of a movie called OSOMBIE? *arty

APOCALYPSE OF THE DEAD Review

    Grabbed this one after werk , hungry & tired and wanted to knock out another zombie movie on my neverending gorequest. And APOCALYPSE OF THE DEAD delivered the goods on the blood n' gore and even a little night time foggy atmosphere! It does lay on the corpses shambling through the night time mist as thick as I would have liked but that's what I wanted to see and I got some of that.
    The voices of some of the actors are dubbed and it reminded me of HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD and ZOMBI 3 a lil' it with that and that just made it better! And it has Ken Foree. When I first saw him in DAWN OF THE DEAD he was so strong , and a tough badass and now with him coming out in Rob Zombie movies he's kind of become a asshole but in APOCALYPSE OF THE DEAD he plays it as a straight law n' order type goodguy and gets a little of his dignity back as a hero And there's a girl that looks like Katja Kassin , Eurpoean porn princess! Plus a shitload of good gore made APOCALYPSE OF THE DEAD very enjoyable and my only problem is that it was a little longer than I think it needed to be but worth seeing and even owning if ya could find it cheap. *Arty

SICK BOY.....SICK THINGS!

    Now this one got me writin'! In my gorequest I been rentin' movies like a madman and gettin' all kindsa SHIT! So I grabbed this SICK BOY movie because I red a good review on it and I watch these movies with a open mind and a good attitude because I wanna have a good time and cos' I have not gotten laid in almost 3 years and I can't get drunk since I'm on probation so I read comix and work on my zine and watch gore flix and SICK BOY was a BIG letdown! A real drag man! It's one of those horror movies that works (or is supposed to work) on a slow burn build up but SICK BOY did not achieve that with me. It's about a gal who is babysittin' a boy who has some unknown disease (guess what kind of disease it is) so she stays downstairs while the SICK BOY stays upstairs in his room all the time. The babysitter is not likeable , especially when she starts argueing with her dopey boyfriend and ESPECIALLY when she starts rapping and dancing to herself , lookin' in the mirror! That part sucked so bad!
    But the ending is good! These freakazoid ghoulish fux look fuckin' scary! I wish these zombies woulda been in a creepy , dark , foggy , atmospheric movie insteada this harsh light/daytime WB twenty something bitchfest contest. Upsetting that such cool lookin' zombies had to be in this. So watch the trailer or the last 15 minutes or watch the whole movie but just know that the first hour and ten minutes SUCK! -arty

DEAD SEASON dvd review

  So many zombie movies on the shelves at Ballbusters and this cover looks like art for a video game. It doesn't describe anything about the movie but it's not really lying about it either. Fortunately DEAD SEASON is a decent entry into the direct to video zombie genre. It is typical zombie fare , copying DAWN OF THE DEAD , 28 DAYS LATER , and THE WALKING DEAD but they pull off a decent movie with good enough acting and a fair amount of gore , so DEAD SEASON slips under the wire for being a watchable zombie flick. It does go for the serious approach trying to be stark and bleak and by now I am ready for some schlocky grade-B fun in the vein of EVIL DEAD 2 , NIGHT OF THE CREEPS , and ZOMBI 3. I need to see a zombie head fly across the screen ,  I need that! -Arty

THE DAY DVD REVIEW

    Really bad movie title but THE DAY was pretty darn good! I mean , yeah , it pales in comparison to BOOK OF ELI (a good film) , and THE ROAD (a great film) but THE DAY was a good action flick set in a dystopian world with a truckload of kills ; some of them pretty brutal , and lots of cgi blood. There was practical efx blood too , but the cgi blood did not bother me as much as it usually does. even some good acting from Dom Monaghan from L.O.T.R and the guy who played Iceman in the X-MEN movies , and especially from Ashley Bell , the gal from THE LAST EXORCISM. I did not know it was her at first but she kicks ass in this movie and made me believe that she knows how to shoot guns like Annie Oakley , throw knives as good as Beatrix Kiddo , and throwdown some fisticuffs like Manny Paciaou. Okay , maybe not like Manny but you know what I'm sayin'.
    And on top of that the movie had a bleak de-saturated gray tone to it that gave it some atmosphere and showed that the director was trying to give the film some identity and artistic merit which is great. If you wanna see a decent action movie then THE DAY could be that movie. *arty

ELLEN

   You kind of remember Ripley as a female Rambo ; I did , but she really doesn't turn into a badass until the end.
    I finally got a HD flatscreen and  I was marveling at how badass ALIENS looks in HD and it was a new viewing experience for a  old favorite and while I was watching it I finally found a real appreciation for Weavers performance as Ellen Ripley. She's amazing and the first 30 minutes or so the movie is all her and she should have won that oscar back in 88 , or 87 , whatever yr it was! Before when I would watch ALIENS I would watch it for the aliens. They are so terrifying , fascinating , and cool! I wanted to know where they came from and what their life cycle is , where did the queen come from? THEN , I would watch it for the Space Marines. They were so badass too. They would destroy Stormtroopers, or Cylons , Klingons , and those red assholes from THE LAST STARFIGHTER! Blow all them away with those pulse rifles! Now I watch because of Ellen! How would you act if you were the sole survivor of a hostile alien life form that wiped out all your co-workers? Whose to say really but Weaver hit it close to home and made it believable. She's so sympathetic and wounded but tries to keep herself together. But those nightmares plague her and even when she's smoking a cigarette she's giving off so much emotion. There really would be no way she would go back to the alien world but again she makes it believable that Ripley might to confront her fears. I like when she's trying to explain to the Marines what they are going up against and it's like just her remembering what the facehuggers do is preventing her and she almost can't do it. Or when they find that lady stuck to the wall and the chestburster comes out , Elen grabs her chest and makes it so much more real!

     So now watching ALIENS the parts with Ripley are my favorite even the parts before they leave to go back to lv-426. Another favorite scene is when she knocks the food tray out of Bishops hand when she finds out hes a robot! I love the look Bishop gives her , because he's a robot and doesn't know how to react to real emotion.
    Michael Biehn and Bill Paxton were great too and there is so much more to go on about ALIENS , like James Remar was going to be in it and even filmed some stuff but I could go on and on but I would like to know your thoughts on ALIENS and your fave scenes so I hope you leave a comment. Thanx for reading! 8arty

SILENT NIGHT dvd movie review

    I like the new SILENT NIGHT better than the original. I always thought the original was badly acted and just a cash in on the holiday horror theme. And I don't think it was that suspenseful or even that gory or bloody. For me the 2012 SILENT NIGHT was alot more fun and finally it was the gorefest I was looking for. It went straight to dvd but it looks like it should have been in the theater. Pro all the way and a good cast too! Malcolm McDowell , Donal Logue , Jaimie King , and the yummy Ellen Wong! Ellen Wong was Knives from SCOTT PILGRIM! She is one cute piece of ass and was the deciding factor in me picking this flick! But can't forgot that other piece of fine ass Jaimie King! Did you see her in SIN CITY!? Or the SPIRIT? Those or the only 2 movies I've seen Jaimie in and they make her look like a goddamned goddess in those 2 movies and now I've seen what she looks like as a normal human being!
                                                                                      

Death By Sexy!

 Anyway , in the first few minutes of SILENT NIGHT evil Santa stunguns a little girl and them skewers her with a fireplace poker! That set the tone of the movie for me and I enjoyed it. It even had a decent sleaze factor and some boobs , and bad behavior , which Santa has to punish and he does it in gory ways , Hell , he even uses a flamethrower!
    So far SILENT NIGHT is the best movie I've rented from blockbuster because it satisfied my need for gore and I was tired when I watched it after a 12 hour work day and it perked me up and entertained me so I can wholeheartedly tell you to check it out or catch it the tube if it's on or even buy it if you can find it for less than ten bux! *arty

A Cadaver Christmas movie review

    Man , the dvd cover for this one is so cool! Looks like from the same artist as HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN , and it is a zombie movie and it has those scratchy lines on the screen like PLANET TERROR and I'm pretty sure it's dubbed , and it sucks! Kind of. Not totally but A CADAVER CHRISTMAS fell short and was not the gorefeast I was looking for. It does have a good wannabe oldschool horror movie vibe to it and there were some really cool parts but there really isn't that much gore in it and the gore that it does have was really stupid. I can suspend my disbelief and forgive alot of stuff but stabbing someone with a christmas tree? C'mon! Even a zombie would not be soft enough to be skewered by a christmas tree! And there is other stuff like that in here. BUt the part wear the girl turns into a zombie and her eyes change color real fast was cool and when they smash the TV on her head , that was cool too! There is another part where a group of zombies are rushing down a dark hallway and that actually looked kind of creepy and having the nerdy janitor as the hero was a nod to Ash of Evil Dead......but no good gore! ANother thing was that even though A CADAVER CHRISTMAS was only 85 minutes , it seemed like a solid 2 hours. There is alot of talking in this that just goes on and on and on and on and on......FUCK! 
    But for the look and feel of it and how much they tried I can recommend it to you if you are a super horror fan like me , and I will look forward to the next feature the director of  A CADAVER CHRISTMAS makes. *arty