OUTPOST: Black Sun dvd review

    A Nazi zombie movie? No brainer , right!? NOYES! Another cool ass dvd cover that sucked me into choosing it and it is a sequel of sorts to a movie called THE OUTPOST , which I own , and I like OUTPOST , but OUTPOST:Black Sun is not the gorefest I am solemnly searching for. It has some good things about it , it looks good , looks like a movie that could come out in the theater and there are some good nightime action scenes , and the zombies look cool  , but it's just missing something that would make it a really good film. The gore , for one. There is really no gore or any cool efx , and the story isn't very good , in fact it's kind of hard to follow so I didn't really care. Even a simple easy to follow story would have been okay.
    DEAD SNOW was classic compared to this and SHOCKWAVES is the greatest Nazi zombie movie ever made and that one has NO GORE and it was really good. In the end all OUTPOST: Black Sun had potential but failed which makes it even worse and all it gave was a cool dvd cover. *arty

girl tied up!

    Another dvd I grabbed impulsively on site of the dvd cover , a cover that has nothing to do with the movie save for the fact that it is in a junkyard. There is no cute blond in bondage all bloody and trussed up. NO! And there is virtually no gore in WRECKAGE. Nada , zilch , zero , ZIP! It did not totally suck , I thought the acting was okay ; there is one guy in it that plays a junkyard worker and he was funny and made the movie better when he was onscreen but can't recommend in for him alone. I got that blueticket from Ballbuster so I can get movie after movie for the month of Dec/Jan so I didn't lose out money and the time spent watching it was okay , WRECKAGE wasn't that bad just not the fun , outlandish , gory exploitaton film I am gunning for. But when I find it I will write about it. *arty

girl in a box!

    I'm goin' dvd rentin' crazy with this blueticket blockbuster bullshit card!! I'm just grabbin' dvd's willy nilly and I grabbed CARGO. And once again I did not get the gorefest I was lookin' for. In fact there is no gore at all and only 1 killin'. CARGO though , is one of the better movie I have gotten from Blockbuster and just one of the better movies I have seen period. The cover made it look like a torture/porn , which is a subgenre name I don't like , but CARGO is closer to drama and could probably come out on the LIfetime channel.
    The story is a Russian gal comes to the U.S. to start a new life but is tricked into the sextrade and thrown into a van to be taken to New York. The driver is a swarthy Arab dude and the bulk of the movie is what happens between them. And that is what makes the movie good. I felt sorry for the girl and didn't totally hate the Arab guy and together they carry the movie and had me interested until the end. And there is a badguy that comes out in the beginning and the end and he was good and very hateable and very good in his small role.
    The dvd cover was very misleading and if I had known what the movie was about I would not have rented it but I did enjoy it but do not recommend it if you are like me and looking for the next PUNISHER:Warzone and RAMBO 4. But I did enjoy it for what it was. *arty 

ZOMBIE STRIPPER APOCALYPSE a.k.a. BIG TITS ZOMBIE

    And there are some good tits in this. 2 of the girls on the cover bare their boobs and I thought they were really nice , both chix are hot and their melons were of good size with dark nipples. They did not show them enough. Both girls show them twice each and I would of liked to see some ass too but they didn't show their dumpers.
    ZOMBIE STRIPPER APOCALYPSE is in the vein of MACHINE GIRL and ROBOGEISHA but is nowhere near as gory as those two , not even half! But I still enjoyed it and , yeah , because of the bazooms but also cos' of the english dubbing soundtrack. They just go crazy with the wacky comedy and say all kinds of fucked up shit and it actually made me laugh out loud a few times.
    And I read some reviews that slammed the zombie makeup ,( yeah there are zombies in this) , because they paint their faces grey or use some crappy halloween masks but the masks looked cool and worked for the movie.
    ZOMBIE STRIPPER APOCALYPSE was not the gorefest I was looking for , there was a little but not enough and most of the blood was cgi and that bummed me out but I saw some nice bongos on some hott Asian babes and that was cool and that was what I wanted to see and that's what I got. Got it from Block Buster. *arty  

MADISON COUNTY DVD review: It's a horror movie!

I got this card for BLOCKBUSTER where for $17.00 I can get as many movies (one at a time , of course) as I can for 1 month. So this was the first one I got and I got it solely for the dvd cover. Not the one to the left. That one is badass but the oneBLOCKBUSTER had is pretty cool. I didn't have high hopes for MADISON COUNTY , I figured it'd be like one of those SYFY Saturday nite movies but once it started it looked like a film that could have come out in the theater. and the actors were decent even likeable so I can't easily dismiss MADISON COUNTY as a shitty , rotten , piece of garbage movie like some low budget films , BUT , the story is not that good. It is pretty basic which is not always a bad thing. A movie can have a simple premise and be fantastic but the story is so by the numbers and the execution is typical and it lacks atmosphere  and real scares. It is violent but not gory , which would have helped. So I can't recommend MADISON COUNTY but I think the film makers do have talent and the potential for a good movie is there and I think if they adapted one of Richard Laymons novels that they could do it justice if it was as well made as MADISON COUNTY and just followed the story of one of Laymons books as faithfully as they could. I think DARKNESS , TELL US or NO SANCTUARY would be good for them considering both are set way back in the woods and have psychotic killers in them. Lastly , I did like how that the pig headed psycho killer on the cover of the dvd is actually in the movie. Alot of these movies at BLOCKBUSTER have very misleading box art. Oh well , MADISON COUNTY could have been alot better but it was well made but was not the gorefest I was looking for. *arty

I want to hold your dirty hand.

The fuckin' BLACK LIPS , man. Goddamn. Every member of this band is a fucking goddamn degenerate fucking CUNT!!%# And I write this with no shame. They're foul mouthed , immature , they're immature. Each of them is a fuckin' child. They are like children. I mean , there is no god while THE BLACK LIPS walk the earth.

Look at these assholes!

    Just listen to this album , Let It Bloom. It sounds like it was recorded in the shit and piss stained bathroom of a Mexican whorehouse! The bastards are half retarded and can barely play their instruments on this cd. FUCK! And I can't stand the one with that mustache. And they keep the music of these rat bastards in the fuckin' library , can you believe that shit!?! Turns my stomach and they can drink a Korean girls piss but they'd probably like it and beg for more a write a song about it. They chant about doing drugs and feeling gay and all kinds of other lowlife behavior. Well fuck it , if these scumbags can come out on the Conan O'Brian show then tv has gone down the drain! How can a band suck this bad? I'm going to buy one more of their albums just to see if it's a jangly , incoherent , slimy , piece of garbage like this cd just so I can write about it. Goodbye. *arty

I SAW EYES WITHOUT A FACE

Billy Idol had to have taken the title of his song from this movie. And the movie is pretty good. I got EYES WITHOUT A FACE from the library , and it is a good movie but I've seen so many extreme gore movies , along with so many other horror movies that EYES WITHOUT A FACE has lost it's shock value. But seeing it was a pleasant departure from all the modern horror I've seen lately and and it still has a strange atmosphere to it and it is from CRITERION so the dvd looks great!
    Watching it reminded me of ATOM AGE VAMPIRE which is not as artistic and revered as EYES...but is still alot of fun.
    So if you have not seen EYES WITHOUT A FACE wander on down to your local library and check it out. I'd even go as far to say that it is required viewing for any serious , anal retentive , movie watching.....nerd weasel.....like me. -arty 

THE FIRST BLACK LIPS ALBUM

    I finally ordered the first BLACK LIPS cd and it is so much different than Arabia Mountain , which is the BLACK LIPS album I heard first. They are a different band really. The first album is primitive in every way and at first it sounded like a jumbled mess but I love the lo-fi sound and dingy garage sound they have and the vibe it creates. It goes by quickly and while I am still having trouble discerning songs I like it alot. And it sounds even better at nite and when I'm driving around real late at nite it makes me feel even more alone and has a eerie sound to it!
    From what I have read the BLACK LIPS didn't even use a producer until Arabia Mountain and even though I don't know anything about record production I do know I like the way it sounds better than hundreds of other albums I've head whether they be punk , metal, or hard rock.

    If you like punk, lo-fi garage, or rock n' roll , and you haven't heard of these guys yet you really should do yourself a favor and sample them cos' I think you will really like them. I also picked up Let It Bloom and will write something about that one and I hear BLACK LIPS put on a great live show and I really hope they make it to San Antonio someday soon!  

A few words on THE COLLECTION movie

    I really want to see a movie about the Spider-Man villains CARNAGE and VENOM locked in combat that has a lot of gore and is funny and  A HAUNT movie that is really gory too.
But till that happens I gotta get my gore fix from somewhere and this week I got it from THE COLLECTION. I just saw it a few days ago and I really dug it but I now realize that THE COLLECTOR is a better movie but THE COLLECTION was fun and outlandish with a few surprises and had alot of blood and guts and piles of limbs and bodies and bizarre body part sculptures and other weird stuff that I will not mention. And the main actor guy, Josh Stewart is a really sympathetic character and I liked him from the first movie, THE COLLECTOR, and felt for him and the predicament his family was in. There is something likeable about Stewart and I hope he does more genre films. And Navi Rawat is in it for like a minute and she is a smokin' hot babe and always nice to see.
    So if ya thought about seeing it , or if you have not even heard of THE COLLECTION and you wanted to go to the movies and see something entertaining THE COLLECTION will fit the bill.

Josh Stewart being vulnerable

BEWARE!

    I know. I find the concept as loathesome as you. But don't worry. I have never not enjoyed a book by Richard Laymon and I enjoyed BEWARE!, but it was a brutal read! BRUTAL! Laymon , may he rest in peace , has written books about monsters , groups of psycho killers , and books about  insane rapist murderers , but BEWARE! is about a insane rapist cannibal necrophilic INVISIBLE killer! Fuckin' nuts! And there is a cult of sex crazed blood drinkers led by a naked witch.
    What made it such a harrowing read is that Laymon seems to really know how to get into the mind of a sadistic maniac killer and it's scary because it makes me wonder how R. Laymon knows this stuff. But that is what makes his books so good and scary!

MASTER - On The 7th Day God Cretaed Master

Innocents? Dying...? Lets talk! This album came out in 1991 and it still sounds great! It has that (what is now) oldschool vibe but still sounds kind of fresh and hasn't lost much of it's urgency or vitality. I think it truly straddles the line of brutal American Death Metal and classic 80's tooth chippin' thrash metal! The vocals of bassist Paul Speckmann are pretty clean by Death Metal standards and the production is phenomenal because it was recorded at Morrisound studios.
    It's got 10 trax in about 35 minutes and like Demolitiion Hammers - Tortured Existence , Solstices first album and Incubus - Beyond the Unknown , Master - On The 7th day.....has stood the test of time to become a classic of the genre. But like alot of Master this album is hard to get a hold of. Actually I guess it is one of the easier ones to obtain but expect to pay between $14.00 and $35.00 on amazon! I downloaded my copy from itunes cos' I had to have it but I read a review that Displeased records re-released it with a bonus dvd of 2 live shows!
    But I am glad I got it , I can throw it on almost anytime and enjoy it. And if you don't have it or never got it and do like the other bands I mentioned or Death/thrash in general or have any memories of ths album please leave a comment. *arty